Why Manners Matter - 9780399155321

When Lucinda Holdforth told her mother she was writing an essay about manners, her mother paused and said incredulously, "You're writing a book about manners?" Deeply offended, Holdforth called her best friend and relayed what her mother had said. Her best friend paused. And then she said, "Well, you do say 'fuck' a lot."
Welcome to the interesting quagmire Lucinda Holdforth finds herself in. She believes that manners are essential to civilization. Yet according to the knife-and-fork snobs, or exclusive bores, her contemporary attitude might not scream manners. But what Holdforth wonderfully manages to do in this little book is show that manners are not about saying "please" and "Thank you," or about teaching your children to address people by "Mr." or "Mrs." Citing everyone from Tocqueville to Proust to Borat, Holdforth shows how manners-which many of us might think are inconsequential-are actually the cornerstone of civilization.
Whether it's the leaf-blower blaring at seven a.m. or someone cutting in line at the cinema, there's nothing like an act of rudeness to spoil the day. But isn't that just life? And in this age of global warming and warfare, aren't manners frivolous? Do manners really matter? Yes! Holdforth passionately exclaims. She shows that courtesy protects our rights and freedoms, strengthens our communities, and adorns our individual humanity. she shows that privacy can coexist with neighborliness, that intellectual freedom can flourish within agreed social rules, and that civility saves us from over-legislation.