Comes the Darkness, Comes the Light - 9780814474235

It is a compulsion like no other, the inescapable consequence and intermingling of tension, shame, guilt, and frustration. It is a descent into a realm of darkness few can understand ... yet many secretly experience. It is the disorder known as "cutting." And for Vanessa Vega, it was a dangerous, horrific battle that was ultimately won.
It is estimated that millions of people engage in cutting or other forms of self-mutilation. Still not fully understood, cutting and related disorders are on the rise, particularly among teens and young adults. Each cutter's struggle is unique - and the journey into and out of the nightmare deeply personal. Comes the Darkness, Comes the Light is one person's account of sadness, anguish, healing, and hope.
Vanessa Vega would stop at nothing to cause - and therefore control - her own pain. When she wasn't cutting herself, she might be slamming a hand or arm or leg against a wall. Or she might donate blood or get her iron level checked - just to feel the stick of the needle. Her actions would sometimes leave her in an almost trance-like state, large portions of her day left only as foggy images if they weren't blocked out completely. The need to cut called to her, even as she fought back, sometimes succeeding, often giving in to a need she herself couldn't yet hope to understand.
But amidst all of the heartbreak, for Vanessa, redemption was in sight. Slowly, with the help of family, friends, therapists, and an abiding faith, Vanessa gradually and painfully began to shake off the bonds of despair and helplessness, ultimately gaining strength, until at last she looked the demon in the eye - and stared him down.
Comes the Darkness, Comes the Light is one woman's story of a life lost and then regained. Offering hope and agonizingly hard-won insight to others battling this painful disorder, it is a chilling look at the destructive power of the human mind, and an unprecedented account of the tragic results of self-mutilation. But in the end, it is a testament to the incredible power of the desire to live, and to the endless strength available to all of us - even in our very darkest hour.